


destiny estranged

by wrigglesworth59



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Dark, Dark Arthur, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, and comfort, but well is pain, but who knows, don't really want to tag it as, hopefully a happy ending, will change/add tags as we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-02-09 12:44:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1983477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrigglesworth59/pseuds/wrigglesworth59
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody envisioned destiny's golden future to be this</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

He hadn't noticed what had been happening until it was too late, even then he was in too deep no longer his own but a victim who had been broken at the hands of his tormentor. He wanted to run, get away, he wanted to rage against the world, against fate, against  _destiny_. He wanted to raze the world to it's very core.

He couldn't though, could no longer do as he wished. His life had never been his own, had always been bound by his destiny, though when he had dreamed of the future it had never entailed this.

It had happened slowly, gaining speed and he had failed to notice when his world became grey and bleak. Had failed to notice how the banter became barbs, how the odd projectile became heavy fists, how the love between them became a dark twisted thing. When making love had turned to him being left bleeding and weeping, curling in on himself, wishing for it all to end or if he could at least go back, back to before all the confessions.

When he had told Arthur that he loved him (he  _had_ , he still does, with all that he was and all that he still is which is no longer the same anymore, he has lost so much of himself) he had been overjoyed when Arthur returned his love.

When he had confessed his magic, no longer able to continue lying to his king, his love, his whole world. Arthur had listened, learned the truth and not only forgiven him but accepted him, it was all he'd ever dreamed of and he had felt certain that now was the time, that their destiny would be realized.

He doesn't remember when the dreams died, when Arthur's love had turned to hate.

No, he had/has been oblivious, a walking talking shell, and he hadn't noticed his world turn grey until one day when colours were reintroduced to his dark world, so bright, almost blinding in there intensity.

He had found something that he never would have thought to see again, like shutters being opened to a new day.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Mordred." Merlin breathed, disbelief, fear, hope a hundred emotions filling him in a moment, unsure as to which he should feel anymore. He had long ago stopped allowing himself to be disillusioned by a dragon who called himself 'friend' and spoke to him of a bright future, no longer believed the lies of a golden dawn.

_'What happened to you Emrys?'_ Mordred's magic pushed against his mind, bright and soothing, "Hello Arthur."

"Thank you, Mordred was it?" Arthur asked and Mordred nodded in reply a small smile on his face, "Well you must join us then, I can always use a good swordsman and Camelot can always use good knights." Arthur clasped Mordred by the forearm and Mordred's smile grew.

Mordred had saved them from mercenaries, no doubt working for Morgana. They had got separated from the rest of the knights in an ambush and found themselves alone surrounded on all sides. When the first mercenary had dropped with a crossbow bolt in his chest Merlin had thought that the knights had found them it was only when a few more had dropped and Mordred had appeared wielding a sword that he had known otherwise, though at the time he had not known who their mystery saviour was until he had felt the magic reaching out to twine with his own.

Merlin had always believed that once Arthur learned of his magic things would be different, that the ban would be repealed, that magic would be free, that the golden age of Albion would be born. Things had not changed there was no difference to his life, he was still Arthur's manservant, he still had to hide in the shadows, still had to lie to everyone. Arthur had forbidden him to use magic unless in dire situations, and only if no-one would witness it, he had no intention of removing the magic ban, did not wish for magic to rise with his kingdom and Merlin often wonders if it was because of the magic that Arthur changed so much toward him.

Yet here was Mordred and if Arthur remembered him, remembered the druid boy he had rescued, and had still offered him a knighthood then perhaps Mordred could be the light for the future that would be golden, for Merlin's magic though strong was sickly, sluggish and he didn't need to look far for the reason, for he  _was_ magic and he himself was lost.

_'Emrys, what happened, you no longer feel as you used to.'_ Mordred asked again, the druid had waited until everyone else was sleeping apart from those who had been given first watch, probably the reason for using mind and magic to communicate.

_'I-I-I don't know, don't know what you mean.'_

_'Yes you do, please maybe I can help, your magic...'_

_'I'm tired, but thank you I'll keep that in mind.'_

_'Goodnight then Emrys'_

_'Goodnight Mordred...'_  Merlin added once the connection had broken in such a soft whisper he hoped that it wouldn't (and would) reach the druids consciousness, _'I'm glad your here.'_

 


	2. 2

xxXxx

Mordred felt Emrys' pain like it was physically his own though he did not know what had caused it. He had instantly noticed how his magic was no longer bright as though his world no longer held light or hope but it was still Emrys, still at his kings side and what could have happened to change him so much that it effected his magic like a disease. He had felt the hopeless truth in their last connection, and knew whatever it was was more than skin deep.

He determined to return to Camelot with them so that he may keep an eye on Emrys, for whatever had happened in the past was done and could not be changed and he had been little more than a scared boy but as he grew he had realized that perhaps Emrys had had his reasons and hearing the truth in their connection  _'I'm glad you're here'_ he could not deny the joy and sorrow he had felt.

In the morning while they were dismantling camp, Mordred was laughing with a couple of the knights helping load their provisions on their horses, he had decided to give Emrys some space it was clear that he seemed a little embarrassed by their conversation last night still he kept his mind and magic open to him. It was nice to be able to feel their magic brush occasionally though Emrys' felt like a puppy that had been kicked and kicked again and was wondering when the next kick would land, brushing out and retreating almost instantly only to tentatively reach out again.

"Damn it _Mer_ lin, must you always be such an imbecile!" The king's voice cut through the easy peace of the group, he whipped his head around (the spike of fear in the magic confusing him and making him jump at it's intensity) in the direction the voice had sounded to see Merlin kneeling by the side of the king's horse hastily gathering the fallen possessions his back to the king.

"Sorry sire." The warlock mumbled, not looking up even when it seemed he had finished repacking everything, he merely stood back still to the king and tied the bag to the horses saddle.

_'Emrys,'_ Mordred reached out,  _'Is everything alright?'_

_'Of course, sorry, just tired I guess. I didn't sleep well.'_ Merlin turned to Mordred and offered a very forced smile if Mordred was any guess. Perhaps this was the answer, it couldn't be easy to protect a man who saw you as little more than an idiot.

This, he thought, this here is where the problem lies and made a silent vow to be there for Emrys in any and all ways, for if the dream of a united Albion was ever to come to pass Emrys needed to be whole.

XXXXXXXXXX

The last couple of weeks had been chaotic, and though his return to Camelot was not something he had ever envisioned (especially with magic still being punishable by death) he could honestly say he was happy that he had returned here, after his knighting ceremony he had joined regular training with his new brothers-in-arms and found that he had gotten rather good quite quickly and had been accepted with ease, something he still found hard to believe even though he wasn't sure how friendly any of these men would be if they knew of his magic.

Still he pushed such thoughts aside, he had long gotten used to hiding who he really was and reining in his magic and here at least he felt at home, he had friends and a worthy position, a home, something he had long given up believing he would ever find.

Also, he smiled as he felt the now familiar brush against his magic, Emrys was here. After the first time of seeing each other again Emrys had opened his mind and magic to him a thought that never failed to make him smile despite that he was no nearer to learning what troubled his friend so much, and he often found himself making his way to the physicians quarters of an evening to share dinner and conversation with the warlock and Gaius.

He had been on his way there when he had felt the familiar presence of Emrys, his magic seemed to be skittering wildly and Mordred could tell instantly that Emrys was distressed, he wondered if Emrys had even noticed him trying to sooth the others magic. He walked cautiously further along the corridor, stopping abruptly when he heard a familiar voice ringing with a tone he would never have thought to hear from the other man: fear.

"Please, no..."

The voice cut off abruptly to be replaced with another (he couldn't make out the other voice which was little more than a low growl), dull thuds, and a pained cry hastily stifled, he drew his sword and edged nearer unsure of what to expect, fearful of what he would find.

Ducking low he thought to take a quick glance into the sheltered alcove to get a chance to assess the situation but the sight he was met with froze him entirely, he couldn't actually be witnessing what he was, it was... was... impossible and yet the magic that was not his own but still felt like a physical being told him all he needed to know about the truth of this situation. He felt sick, completely shocked and unsure, what was he supposed to do? What  _could_ he do?


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please see archive warnings as this chapter contains scenes of rape

**xxXxx**

"Please, no." Merlin really wished that this was a new thing but it wasn't and he had been expecting it for the last couple of days, he was actually surprised by how long it had taken for Arthur to exact his punishment for some perceived wrong. He had been in the kings chambers cleaning and had used his magic so that he could get all his chores done only Arthur had caught him, Merlin should have by now learned his lesson when it came to using his magic. So now here he was in a horribly familiar hidden alcove, face shoved painfully against the rough stone walls, Arthur's hand gripping his hair hard.

"You're mine _Mer_ lin, and so is your magic. Do. Not. Disobey Me... Again." The last few words were accompanied by Arthur pulling his head back a bit before slamming it once more into the wall with each word, a few pained gasps escaping his lips and he could feel a little trickle of warm liquid starting to make it's way down his face. Then there was a heavy calloused hand tugging at his laces, he opened his mouth (perhaps to plead once more for some kind of mercy from his _'lover'_ , the word itself making him want to retch) only to have his dirty neckerchief pushed in before he could utter a sound.

The cool air making the hairs along his legs lift and prickle and he couldn't hold in the shiver as strong hands gripped his cheeks, tears already making their way down his face, he didn't know how much more he could take but he knew that he could never leave Arthur, even as his king pushed past the ring of resistant muscles and settling himself balls deep in a few punishing thrusts while he shivered and tried to remain on his feet.

Then like the first ray of sunlight breaking the dawn he felt another's presence, a comforting presence. The familiar tingle of Mordred's magic like a soothing balm to his own and even as he took comfort from the feeling he suddenly realized the implications, turning his head despite the protests as it scraped across the wall he looked towards the corridor, his eyes meeting the confused and terrified gaze of the newest of the knights.

He could do nothing, Arthur had him in a punishing grip as he pounded relentlessly into his arse, mouth full of the scratchy material of his neckerchief. He felt a sob crawling up his throat and did the only thing he could do... sent out a little of his magic to Mordred, to reassure him...

 _'Emrys?'_  

_'No! Go... Mordred please.'_

**xxXxx**

Mordred felt Emrys reach out to him with his magic, though it felt jittery he could hardly blame the other for that  not in this situation that he was faced with. He knew Emrys did not wish for him to witness _this_... this humiliation, and violence- this...  _this_! He no longer had words for  _this_!

This prophesied _king_... this man- this monster. How was it possible that this was what was in his soul... this darkness and... No! Mordred would not leave Emrys here alone to suffer _this_ at the hands of his king even if he could do nothing, he would go nowhere. He would not ( _could not_ ) watch but he could be here for Emrys. He sent out his magic to wrap around the other man, to hold him in its comforting embrace for all the good it would do, as tears slid down his own face unchecked he closed his eyes and turned away.

 _'I am here for you, I will be here whenever you have need. I'm sorry.'_ He sent the thought and slid a little down the wall, he would need to move and hide once the king was finished, he did not wish to find out what would happen to him if the king knew what he had seen but he knew that it could be nothing good.

He did not receive any response but he had not expected one, he could feel enough of the others pain and sorrow to cause his own heart to ache, how could he have sworn his loyalty to this man, how had everyone been so taken in by the act of a just and noble king...  _a just and noble king who raped his servants in hidden alcoves where anyone might find them?_

He did not know how long he had sat there, pushing love and compassion through his magic and trying to absorb the pain, fear and heartbreak that he felt swirling back through their joined magic, but it felt like an eternity before the voice jolted him out of his despair.

_'Mordred... Mordred you have to go- Now...! He's...'_

He jumped to his feet and quickly made his way back along the corridor, throwing himself through the first door he came across and hoping it was an empty chamber. He didn't know how he would explain his appearance to anyone he came across at the moment, leaning back against the closed door he was relieved to find that he was in what appeared to be empty guest chambers and allowed himself to slump to the floor as his knees gave out.

_'Merlin... I'm in the first door you come across along the west corridor... please come to me- please'_

_'You cannot help, Mordred, I'm sorry.'_

_'Please...'_

It was all he could manage now, his emotions were too chaotic, no all he could do now was sit and wait and hope that Merlin would come. He wondered just how clumsy Merlin really was, how many of his _accidents_ and the resulting injuries were just that, how long had this been going on? He needed answers, he needed to understand why Emrys... Merlin, would put up with that kind of treatment... why? Why would he allow himself to be used like that?

A soft knock at the door had him once again leaping to his feet, although for very different reasons, and he opened the door to be greeted with the sad, beaten and bruised face of Merlin... simple serving boy to the king... of Emrys... most powerful warlock ever who would aide the once and future king in uniting all albion... a man who looked so lost, broken down and weary that his guts clenched painfully. His eyes following the line of dried blood and he wanted little more than to wretch, especially when he noticed the wince that accompanied the shuffling gait as the other man entered the room.

"Merlin..." He couldn't help it, deep down he knew it was probably not the wisest thing in the world to do not to someone who had just endured what Merlin had, but he could not stop himself as he threw his arms around the older man and breathed a small sigh of relief when after tensing for a short moment the other took the comfort that was offered, burrowing himself deep into Mordred's arms and letting out a sob so full of the pain and anguish that he must have been hiding for a while.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anything that brightens Merlin's day has the opposite effect on the king

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm- Arthur's POV so be warned of dark thoughts and insinuations towards rape

****x****

He was once again watching Merlin and Mordred through the window, it was clear to him that these two certainly shared a lot of time with each other and he could only think of one reason why- and he _would_ put a stop to it. Merlin was his, he didn't blame Mordred after all it was too easy to fall for Merlin's 'charms', but Merlin well he knew better than to piss him off. He didn't realise how tightly he was clutching his goblet until he felt broken metal biting into his skin, and eased his grip to see blood begin to bead.

"Arthur, are you alright?" Guinevere asked from her seat at the table, he heard her moving though and figured she had probably come to see what had caught his attention. He wasn't sure if she knew about Merlin and couldn't care either way really he was the king and could do as he wished, at least he wasn't going around fathering little bastards behind her back.

"I'm fine, Guinevere. You should finish your meal." He saw her give his bleeding hand and the twisted metal goblet still clutched loosely within it a dubious look but it seemed that she had very wisely decided against persuing this, not that he had ever hurt her he didn't think he ever could, well not physically anyway.

_Mer_ lin on the other hand was going to be in a lot of trouble, he had pledged his whole self to Arthur- body, mind, magic and _soul_ he was Arthur's, all of him, and Arthur would certainly not allow this 'friendship' to continue.

He couldn't it would be too dangerous. He had seen the way Merlin had slowly started to change, not just how he had started to avoid Arthur, only ever appearing when ordered to do so and being absent when he was not, but also his whole self seemed different, it looked as though he had maybe put on a little weight (which in itself was suspicious) his eyes sometimes shone with an inner light when he smiled, actually thinking about Merlin's smiles he realised that the boy hadn't smiled properly for a very long time.

He knew that was his doing but what else could he do? - Merlin was the most powerful sorcerer to walk the earth and Arthur needed to keep him in his place because heavens knew what would happen if an idiot like that were left to his own devices, no it was much better to keep him close and as long as he was bound to Arthur he would ensure that Merlin knew exactly who was in charge.

He didn't want to wait though, but what else could he do he had promised Guinevere an evening just for them, to enjoy each others company as man and wife, he would have to wait until she was asleep or else dismiss her and he could hardly do that with no explanation. Although that would be the better idea especially seen as he didn't think he could trust himself not to hurt her if he took her to bed with the mood he was currently in, and he didn't want to do that.

He looked down as a sharp pain shot through his hand, and a cruel smirk curved his lips, he clenched his hand into a fist watching the blood spill between his fingers. Perfect.

"Guinevere, I'm sorry but this cut seems to be worse than I thought, I think I'd best have Gaius take a look, I won't be too long though." He gave her a reassuring smile as he made his way to the door of their chambers before making his escape.

The whole way to the physicians chambers he thought of suitable punishments for his wayward servant, he didn't know what he would choose yet though, but it didn't matter really, he knew whatever he chose he would be sure to enjoy it.

Reaching Gaius' rooms he knocked politely, awaiting the old man's 'Come in.' He pushed the door open and stepped into the room, looking around he felt himself getting further enraged, for Merlin's door was open at the back and it was clear that the stupid idiot had not yet returned to his rooms. There was only one place Arthur could think where Merlin might be, he had watched himself as Merlin and Mordred had entered the castle and had assumed by the late hour that the two would take their leave of each other, he only hoped for Merlin's sake he would not be found where Arthur feared he would. 

Completely ignoring Gaius (who had been talking to him, growing concerned by the lack of response,) he turned on his heels and left the chambers, stalking through the castle towards the knights quarters.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for violence and insinuations towards rape

 

**5**

**xxXxx**

Merlin followed Mordred into his chamber, it was surprising how comfortable he was in the other's presence their magic weaving a dance between them, light and happy the way it should be. Ever since Mordred had come to Camelot and discovered his inner turmoil the other man had been there for him, a shoulder to cry on, a comforting presence some-one he could confide in. It was amazing how much those simple things had helped, made him feel better about himself... stronger... happier than he had been in such a long time.

He had managed to avoid Arthur of late aswell, making sure to only be in his presence when others were around, and even then only if he had been ordered to attend the king, and without Arthur and all that entailed he had even managed to gain some weight.

They were seated in a companionable silence as their magic continued to hum and twine together when the door banged open violently and Merlin flinched before he had even seen who it was. His head snapped round to the door, and there stood Arthur his face a mask of ill concealed fury as he took in the men in the room. Mordred's magic wrapping comfortingly and protectively around him as Arthur stepped inside, shutting and locking the door behind him.

" _Mer_ lin, _Sir_ Mordred. I hope I'm not interrupting anything... _important_." Arthur stalked closer and Merlin couldn't stop himself from flinching back. He had no idea what would happen now, but it could be nothing good, he could hear the spite and jealousy in Arthur's tone.

"No, my lord, Merlin and I were just-"

"Oh I have no doubt what you were just. Forgive me but I think perhaps you both need a lesson in knowing your place."

"My lord?" 

Merlin let out a small whimper his magic already shrinking back, he had to stop himself from falling from his chair when Arthur's heavy hand came down on the back of it, the kings other hand drifting down to wrap calloused fingers around his neck in a sick imitation of a lover's touch, stoking softly at his warm skin.

_'What do you want me to do?'_ Mordred's voice whispered urgently into his mind but he was too lost in fear to do anything more than shake his head.

"You see Mordred, as a knight of Camelot it will not do for you to be seen _dallying_ with a servant, especially _the king's_!" Arthur's fingers tightened around his neck and he felt his body being pulled up roughly from his seat before being tossed unceremoniously to the floor, " _Mer_ lin here has been neglecting his _duties_."

"I'm sorry, my lord, but I believe that Merlin had the night off?"

_'No, Mordred... you'll make it worse-please, just...'_ just what though? Shut up, sit and watch whatever horrors are about to unfold, fuck even he didn't know what to expect with the mood Arthur seemed to be in.

"Merlin, could you please prevent _Sir_ Mordred from moving while I show him what happens to those who do not respect my position."

Oh god, _'I'm sorry.'_ he whispered into Mordred's mind even as his magic twined around the knight preventing him from making any move. He hadn’t wanted to but he had also bound Mordred’s magic, even though doing so left him feeling guilty and nauseas but he couldn’t risk the young druid attempting anything that would only serve to make the situation worse.

The gold hadn't even faded from his eyes when he felt the swift kick to his ribs, he curled in on himself for all the good it would do which was not much as Arthur got on the floor and grabbing a fistful of Merlin's hair pulled hard.

He winced gasping out as his body tried to straighten out, following the pull of his hair in the vain attempt to lessen the pain. A fist struck out, landing a heavy blow to his cheekbone, a second punch landing before the ringing in his ears subsided.

After that he was lost in the pain as blows were dealt to him, his face, his ribs, kidney's. He arched and writhed and attempted to curl up, wanting to flee and knowing he could not. When he saw the glint of steel in Arthur's hand his mind happily detached, not even registering the pain that the blade left in its wake as it cut a straight path down his torso, through his tunic, stopping when it reached the leather of his belt only to slip in under it and instead cut through the belt like butter before once again meeting his flesh.

Arthur tore his ruined tunic from him and he felt the tug on the laces of his breeches, his hands shooting out automatically to scrabble at the intruding fingers, his mind a litany of _nonononononononono,please,nonononotagainnono_. His hands were caught in the strong grip of one of his kings.

"Now, now, Merlin none of that."

He was consumed with the internal panic, he had been doing so much better, had been successful in avoiding his king as much as was possible, he could not put himself through this again. But this was his king- The Once and Future King and he was all but powerless against this man who was so much a part of him.

Before he could even comprehend it he felt Arthur pull his hands away, ‘oh thank god’ but when he caught sight of his face he knew that he had not done so willingly. His magic had acted out of pure instinct to the fear he was feeling and looking into the king’s eyes it was clear he would seriously come to regret what he had done.

“You know Merlin, my father once told me of an old practice used to subdue a sorcerer. I’ve never felt the need to use it on you though... until now.”

Quick as lightning Arthur was gripping his right arm, the blade of the dagger pressed in deeply in to the vein running down his forearm, blood welling up and seeping out faster than Merlin had known was possible.

His head feeling light as dizziness washed over him, his eyes loosing focus, he knew it would not be long before the darkness creeping in completely took him, his last thought was of the Kilgharrah and how wrong the dragon had been.

‘It is not Morgana who is the darkness to my light.’ Before slipping into the peaceful oblivion of unconsciousness.

 


	6. 6

 

**6**

xxXxx 

_Bleeding._ He'd heard of the practice, of course he had, but never before had he actually had to witness it. He was trapped in a nightmare, he had to be, he was too shocked to do anything other than watch in horror as the blade dug deep into Merlin's skin, as the blood blossomed and flowed freely. Too much, too much blood.

He was sobbing and he only vaguely noticed the hold on him weakening but still he sat there unable to move or look away, he needed to help his friend but he had no idea how. All he could think of was how much blood there was and he worried that whatever it was the king had planned he had now taken it too far. He couldn't help but cry out when he felt Emrys' hold over him vanish, his magic surging to the surface and he couldn't have stopped it even if he had wanted to.

He watched in detached fascination as the king flew back, crashing into the table and landing heavily on the floor. he doesn't bother to even check if the king's conscious or not just rushes to Merlin's side, whispering words of healing over him. Taking his hand and raising his arm, tears slipping free as easily as the blood still leaks from the arm he's clutching. He presses it to his face, repeating the words over and over as his other hand grips around the wound as if he is able to just hold the blood in. He hears a shifting and a groan from somewhere behind him and panicking slightly, he can't let Arthur hurt Merlin again, not anymore, not ever, he shouts a rough spell that has a wind spring up, whipping around them, pulling, pushing, distorting the world.  _One... two...three...four...fi_

Not even five heartbeats passed before it stopped and looking around briefly found they were in the valley of the fallen kings, that was good, there were druids in the valley but he didn't know where-abouts their encampment was, it didn't matter he knew that the druids would come. He gently lay Merlin on the ground, his arm was still bleeding though not as much as it had been, ripping a strip of his tunic he used it to bind the wound and once again spoke the healing words, pouring as much of himself into it as he could. Once that had been seen to, he looked over the rest of his injuries. There was a long shallow cut down his torso, and bruises had already begun to bloom on his face and ribs, there wasn't much he could do now, he was not that knowledgeable about healing without magic and had no way of knowing if there were any internal injuries from the harsh kicks he had taken, all he could really do now was wait for the druids to show up.

He wasn't sure how long it had been before his magic picked up the approach of people and the voice of Iseldir greeted him in his mind. He was glad it was Iseldir, he hadn't seen him for many years but the aging druid was one of the best when it came to healing.

He felt the warmth from Iseldir's body as the druid knelt down next to him, "You have to let go, Mordred, so that I may treat him." He nodded and shakily let go, getting to his feet and backing away only a short distance. He watched as the druid elder ran his hands along Merlin's body, the whole time chanting healing spells that sounded more like a song or prayer, and smiled as the cut along his torso healed over leaving pink new skin, as the bruises faded away. Iseldir unwrapped his make-shift bandage and Mordred was pleased to see that even that wound showed signs of healing, instead of the gaping wound of earlier it was now raised and scabbed over, the skin around it looking pink and tight.

He was back at Merlin's side as soon as Iseldir stopped casting, lacing their fingers together. He paid little heed to Iseldir other than to murmur a brief thanks.

"His body is healing well, though he needs a good rest, he lost a lot of blood, you should both return with us where you can rest safely."

"Yes, thank-you." He gathers Merlin up into his arms, noting that he is still too light to be a healthy grown man but in this instance it goes in his favour but he makes a note to talk to Merlin again about his eating habits, and follows Iseldir further into the valley to the cave where the druids are living.

It's a good place, it's hard to spot and the tingling feeling that washes over him as he gets nearer to the fissure in the rock wall lets him know that if anyone without magic came here they could search for days and still not find an entrance, inside it opens out into a large cavern with many tunnels splitting off from this main chamber where druids are cooking and talking and mending clothes... living.

Iseldir leads him through a tunnel and a small chamber that branches off from it, inside is a nest of blankets, a bowl of warm water and a water skin. He puts Merlin down, pulling a few blankets aside to bury him under and once again thanks the other druid.

Iseldir smiles at him, "Dinner finished a short while ago but if you are hungry or Emrys when he awakes just let me know. Goodnight Mordred."

"Goodnight and thank-you again." He waits for the elder druid to leave before taking a brief wash and snuggling into the blankets, tucked up tight next to Merlin, his magic swirling around them both in a protective bubble of warmth.


	7. 7

 

**7**

**x**

 

Arthur sat up with a groan, his hand automatically going to the lump on the back of his head, looking up with slightly blurred vision he is just in time to see wind whipping up around his knight and his manservant and a moment later they are both gone.

Fierce anger pulses through him, it's all much clearer now, the connection the two _sorcerer_ 's shared. He refuses to let them go so easily though. Pushing himself to his feet, trying to rid his vision of black spots that threaten to send him crashing back to the floor, he makes his way from the room on unsteady legs, grabbing the first servant he sees and ordering them to have the knights meet him in the council chambers  **now**.

He cannot afford to lose Merlin, especially not in such a manner as this, cannot afford such a powerful enemy to escape. Not that he wants to think of him as such but what else can he think? He has been abusing Merlin's love and trust ever since he found out about the magic, he acknowledge's that he's been treating Merlin badly, is in no delusions as to what he has been doing to the man, but he knows that mostly he had been acting out of fear. An overwhelming fear that if he didn't keep Merlin down trodden, keep his magic somehow in submission to him, that he would lose him as suddenly as he lost his mother, his father, even Morgana. 

So yes he knows that if he let's Merlin and Mordred go they will only return later as his enemies and he either needs to find them and kill them both, a thought which weighs oddly heavy in his chest, or try to bring them home. He thinks it would be easier to bring Merlin home without Mordred around though, he knows that Merlin had started to pull away from him after the younger man arrived in Camelot and he cannot let that be.

He will search as far and wide as he needs there is a sly plan that is running around his mind... it's completely unethical, abhorred even to him and he knows that he will probably never be forgiven if he is set on this course, but it is the only way he can guarantee that Merlin will return to him.

He stands strong before his knights, despite the persistent dull ache in his head, and addresses his men.

"Knights, friends, we have a mission before us that is of the utmost importance. It pains me to have to inform you all that sir Mordred is a traitor, a sorcerer," He waits patiently for the alarmed muttering to die down before he continues, "Not only did he use magic to attack his king but he has also kidnapped Merlin."

He lets his words sink in, can see the anger and disbelief on the knights faces and knows they will not question their next orders, it makes him even more grateful that he never allowed his feelings for Merlin to cloud his vision enough for him to have lifted the ban on sorcerery. Magic is evil, his father taught him that long ago, and though he does not believe that everyone who possesses it is inherently evil he can't deny the fear that it corrupts, maybe those who have it or use are not evil but they all seem to turn that way if the way that they happily attack the innocent people of Camelot is anything to go by.

"I want several patrols out searching for them, not only that but any sorcerer's or druids that are found are to be brought back here for questioning, it is possible that some will know of Mordred's where-a-bouts. We **will** bring Merlin home no matter how long it may take. We ride out at first light."

He wasn't sure why it was such a surprise, other than he had forgotten completely, to find Guinevere still within his chambers. He watched her eyes widen as she took in his bloody appearance, mostly Merlin's though some is his own, and tries not to sigh impatiently. Why was she still here, he was in no mood to talk to anyone he just wanted to get some rest so that he would be fully up to the task of finding Merlin.

"Arthur, what happened? Did you not see Gaius?" She asked rushing over to him and pulling his injured hand up between her own, trying to gently pull him towards the table. He bit down the annoyance and pulled his hand free.

"I'm sorry Guinevere, but something has come up and I need to leave at first light, so if you don't mind I need to get some rest." He tried to keep his voice even and not clench his fists as he turned his back on her, not wanting her to witness the rage barely hidden in his eyes. Breathe deeply, he would bring Merlin home and then he'd make him watch as he executed his treasonous knight.

"At least let me see to your hand before you retire." 

He acquiesced, letting her bind the wound after cleaning away the blood, not meeting her eyes. She said nothing but knew that she wanted to ask him so many questions and was glad that she had enough sense not to push it this evening, he placed a soft kiss to her cheek as he saw her to the door before happily collapsing onto his bed his mind instantly drifting to thoughts of his missing manservant.

 

They had left the horses in a clearing a while back knowing it would be quicker to travel through the denser parts of the forest on foot, when one of the knights who had been scouting ahead waved over and all noise abruptly ceased. He rushed over, keeping low so as not to be seen, to the other knight and peered through the foliage at what had caught the other's attention. There at the bottom of the gulley was an arrangement of colourful tents, washing strung up on lines attached to the trees, there were a couple of small camp fires burning and he could see a handful of people wearing the robes usually associated with druids, his smile stretched wider when he set his eyes on the small figure of a young girl. Perfect.

He and the other knights in his patrol slipped quietly into position  and soon the camp was surrounded. He merely nodded his head to the knights nearest and the unspoken order travelled along. Watching dispassionately as an arrow embedded itself into an old man's chest and while the people of the camp panicked, confused and distracted, Arthur and his men moved in swords swinging. 

They had their orders and all knew that women and children were to be taken alive. He felt the rush of adrenaline through his veins as he pulled his sword from a younger mans body, he had never thought he would once again be attacking a druid camp but if it could get him Merlin back then to him it was worth it.

The fight was not a long one, barely a handful of druids even attempting to fight back, and looking around he witnessed a scene he had not seen for a long time... numerous bodies littering the forest floor, their blood staining the ground, too many pairs of sightless eyes that seemed to gaze up at him accusingly. It didn't matter they had done what they needed to.

He looks around at those who have been captured to be brought back to the citadel, several women of various ages and two small children, looking at them now meek and submissive he almost feels guilty for the fate that awaits them.

Almost. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little dark perhaps and hinted at character deaths but nothing particularly graphic

**8**

 

Merlin jerked awake the feeling of pain, terror and death flooding him, taking over his body and mind, threatening to consume his soul until he screamed out with the weight of it all. He felt a weight next to him jerk into wakefulness but he did not know who or what it was, couldn't tear himself away from all that was taking over him, his screams echoing oddly all around him until he couldn't breathe with the pain of it. It literally felt as though parts of his soul were being torn away, lessening him in a way that Arthur himself had never even managed, and then suddenly it was gone, and he was left shaking and gasping, strong arms wrapped around him and a warmness sweeping over him, soothing him and his tortured soul.

He did not know what had just happened but there was still a weight crushing him, an unbearable guilt despite not knowing why. He slumped into the arms holding him, taking comfort from the strength and support that they offered, in the magic that was wrapped around him almost petting his own as though it were a frightened colt. He could not be offended though because right now he felt little more than a frightened colt anyway, he was scared and disoriented and right now all his mind could think of was pain, the scent of blood lingering in his nostrils and the heat of flames scorching his flesh.

It took him a long time to calm down and even once he was more aware the feeling didn't entirely leave him. Something had happened, he just didn't know what. He turned to Mordred beside him and his eyes took in unfamiliar surroundings before he decided that it wasn't important right now.

"I need to go back to Camelot." He stated, Mordred's face fell into a mask of confusion and he tried to clarify, "Arthur's done something, something terrible. I can feel it I need to go, I need to know what has happened."

"Merlin, you can't. I won't let you, at least not alone." He wanted to argue but he could see the fierce determination in Mordred's eyes and knew that not only would he not win but also that they didn't have time to waste.

"Don't worry I have a plan, I think."

"Okay, what's the plan?" 

He got the feeling that Mordred was merely humoring him but he wouldn't let that put him off. Like Mordred he had no desire to see Arthur, or for Arthur to see him, not after what had happened, which begged the question of what happened after and where exactly were they?

After Mordred had explained to him and he in turn explained his plan, they took each others hands both whispering words of the old religion and then Mordred cast the transportation spell.

The plan really was rather simple, a glamour to disguise themselves so that they could freely walk into Camelot and find out what was going on and hopefully return back to the druid camp before anyone even realised they had left. It was simple but it worked, they had no problem entering the city, no-one looked twice at them. It was when they got to the courtyard however that it suddenly seemed like the worst idea in the world.

There was a pyre burning, and not far from it were two small children with tears running down their faces while a couple of guards placed the heavy knotted ropes around their necks. The screaming of those on the pyre had died away when their spirits left them and all that could be heard was the pop and crackle of the flames that would take a long while yet to die out.

Merlin and Mordred raised shocked disbelieving eyes to each other, was Arthur really planning on murdering innocent children, and for what? How were these executions supposed to help him in any way.

"I will give you one last chance, due to your ages, tell me where the druid Mordred is." The king's voice rose in the silence, and both children shaking with fear seemed incapable of answering even if they had an answer to give. "Very well." The king nodded to the executioner and Merlin watched as if in slow motion as the heavy set man pulled the lever and the floor fell out from under the children's feet.

Without thinking he raised a hand and his eyes flashed gold, the ropes around the children's necks snapped and they both fell with a muffled scream. Merlin was already moving before anyone seemed to have wrapped their minds around what was going on, Mordred not half a step behind him and they made it to the children unchallenged.

 

**x**

 

Arthur was seething, yes the idea had been to find Merlin or draw him in but he could hardly inform everyone that this man before them was his manservant, if he did that it would mean admitting Merlin had magic and not only that it would be admitting that he knew, so he could do nothing other than clench his jaw as he watched the two make their way uninterrupted through the crowd to reach the children.

"Seize them, do not let them escape!" He yelled and it was like a spell had been broken, like everyone had suddenly woken up and could move again, there was screaming and people pushing, whether to get away from these sorcerer's or to aid the children he didn't know but the sudden chaos was making it difficult for his knights and guards to push their way through.

"NO!" He screamed as the tell tale wind started whipping up a frenzy around the four beneath the gallows, and finally there were his men but it was too late and he could do nothing but watch as they once again disappeared out of his reach.

He hung his head in frustration, he really felt like hitting something to relieve some of the stress but knew he would get no joy from it, his only comforting thought was that perhaps once Merlin learned of what had been done in his name he would willingly return to where he belonged. He smiled at the thought, for he knew Merlin well and knew that the man would not let innocents die in his name, it was only a matter of time.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for how short this is but well wanted to keep it with just this one POV since this is their debut in this fic, hope you enjoy...  
> b92morgan- as promised. Enjoy your weekend...  
> *lalala going to watch the world burn now* ;)

 

 

_Brilliant white walls, grey cobbles beneath her feet, an as yet unlit pyre standing tall, larger than any she has ever seen._

_Four women tied fast to the wooden stake in the centre, each one twisting in their bonds looking around fearfully._

_A blonde haired man in a crown watching from above as one of his men steps ever closer to the wood beneath, blazing torch held in a shaky fist._

_The gallows, two small children watched over by two more of these men in red, the noose above them swaying in the breeze._

_The wood is reached, the torch dropped and it isn't long before the screams begin, the people watching on blankly._

_The small children, screaming, shaking and crying out in terror. It is all too easy to see how scared they are, the wetness spreading at their rags saying more than even their tears do._

_Writhing, twisting, screams of pain eventually cut off by eternal darkness. The man above speaks, and all too soon the ropes are dropped over the children's heads._

_A nod from the man above, the pull of a lever and the children drop._

Her eyes shoot open as her body jerks up, a scream already making its way past her lips. She can feel the cool dampness of sweat, her clothes clinging to her uncomfortably, gasping in rasping breaths in an effort to calm her wildly beating heart. Her whole body is shaking and if she hadn't known what, or who, she was she would never have believed a nightmare such as this possible, that Arthur could be equally as heartless as his father before him.

_Uther_ , how _proud_ he'd be if he could see his precious son now.

Small spots of red start to drip onto the sheets beneath her and unclenching her fists she can see the crescent shaped cuts, she leaves them be, enjoying watching the poisonous blood, the blood of sadistic tyrants, spill.

One thing is clear she needs to go to Camelot as quickly as she can, needs to try and prevent this vision. And not for the first time she wishes her sister had taught her the transportation spell, it will take her almost two days to travel to Camelot from her current location and she curses loudly, internally raging against the world.

It's past time that this persecution came to an end.

~~x~~

Words, whispers, the rumours she hears along the way so ridiculous she can scarce believe them.

Mordred has taken Merlin and now no magic user is safe, entire druid camps wiped out in the kings mad quest to retrieve his friend, _his servant_ , she has no idea what Mordred could possibly want with the other, why he would bring the kings wrath upon his own people but there are too many talking of the same that she supposes it must be true. It would certainly shed some light on the harrowing vision she suffered.

Looking up in the distance she can just about make out the sparkling white walls of Camelot's citadel, it should only be a few more hours now, if she rides hard, before she reaches it. She hopes she will not be too late to save her kin from the terrible fate that Camelot's ' _great_ 'king has in store for them.

She would feel guilt for her horses treatment, she has ridden hard with barely a break, if she had any room left for one more emotion but panic, fear, anger grip her as if they will never let go and it is these feelings that cause her to dig her heels in and urge her horse to go faster, and after a few kicks to its flank the horse seems to pull on some inner reserves and pushes itself forward. The white walls inching ever nearer, growing with every hoofbeat.

When she finally arrives, her horse left outside the city walls, it is chaos people screaming and running every which way, her eyes look up and follow the blonde haired man inside his head hung low dejectedly, one might almost believe he felt sorrow. Looking around the courtyard though it is clear to see that his low demeanor is due more to the broken ropes of the gallows.

The pyre is still burning though. Too late she thinks with a heavy sigh, although at least it seems the children are safe and she can't help but wonder who had the courage to come here to rescue them. She needs to see if she can find Mordred, if it's true that he has Merlin she wants to know why, also she could do with some fun and the last time she had that insufferable serving boy at her mercy she doesn't believe she made him suffer enough.

With those more pleasing thoughts now occupying her mind she makes her way back out of the city that used to be home.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for b92morgan and sonten, sorry it's late! hope you all enjoy and happy hols!! :)  
> P.S soz if it it is a bit rambling I was mostly pissed writing this lol (also watching Merlin youtube tunes) :)

 

 

It has taken her many days travelling to arrive at this particular druid camp, rumors are she will find Mordred here, not that this information was easy to come by and she does partly regret what she had to do to her own kin to acquire it but no matter, she has finally reached her goal.

She keeps her head held high as she stalks through the seemingly empty tunnels, knowing she is being watched. She knows exactly what the druids think of her and though she feels a tinge of sorrow that her own kin all fear her it can't be helped, she _will not_ set aside her goal of obtaining the throne. It is **rightfully** hers!

Suddenly there is a man stood in front of her, she does not recognise him but he exudes a calming and authoritative presence and she knows that he is the leader of this druid clan. She stops and arches an inquisitive brow at him, she will let nothing stand in her way, the fact that the druids all seem to worship 'Emrys' does nothing to alleviate her anger.

"Morgana, what can we do for you?" The man asked her in a low soothing tone.

"I wish to see Mordred. Take me to him."

She has little idea though that the warning has already run through the camp of her arrival, for though Mordred had spoken to her telepathically when he was younger no-one has since then, she is therefore at a disadvantage, even though she doesn't know it.

 

~~X~~

 

 **M** erlin jerked awake, aware of the strong arms wrapped around him so it only took him a moment to notice the tension running through the other man. He was unsure what to make of it, with his mind still fuzzy with sleep, until everything slammed back into him in a matter of minutes and his breath caught in his throat, _was Arthur here_? 

He had not noticed that he had started to shake, his subconscious trying to flee from the unknown threat, until he recognised the voice soothing him and both his mind and his body started to calm.

"Well, well, well. Isn't this sweet?"

He recognised that voice immediately, though he had no idea what she would be doing here, the druids had very little love for Morgana. Mordred's hold tightened around him as they both turned to face her.

"What are you doing here, Morgana?" Mordred asked with a fierce tone of protectiveness to his voice.

He shook of the last remnants of sleep, after all he had suffered at the hands of his king, his lover, he held no fear of this bitter woman anymore. If she wanted to kill Arthur then so be it, the king was no longer his problem.

"Oh, I just came to see if the rumors are true. You know you are endangering your own kind by keeping the king's _precious_ _servant_ here?"

"Nothing is precious in Arthur's eyes." Was Mordred's quiet response.

"What do you want Morgana?" He interrupted, already weary of her presence, unwilling to admit how much her words affected him. He knew it was only a short matter of time before he would have to return, he could not allow Arthur to continue killing his kin, not when he had the power to stop it.

Still he needed to heal first, before he could return, and he would not be able to let Mordred know what he was planning.

"To kill you, or maybe just send you back to Arthur. Why should my people suffer for whatever this is? I'm surprised at you Mordred."

"You know nothing Morgana,"

Again Merlin interrupted, " _Your_ people, you know nothing of the druids and they certainly do not ally themselves with you."

"But they do with you? Why, you're nothing but a _servant_."

"Right, well you're currently surrounded by many druids, not one of whom will allow you to take me anywhere so... I suggest you leave now, while you still can."

Morgana laughed at that, that crazy bitter bark of a laugh that highlighted the insanity within, and he shared a look with Mordred.

Though they were in a private chamber in the caves, he could feel the presence of the many druids waiting just outside, prepared to step in if they were needed. Their continuing loyalty to him astounded him, considering that it really didn't seem possible anymore for his destiny to be fulfilled, still he was thankful for it, undeserved though it may be.

 

\/\/\/

 

She laughed at his words, a _servant_ threatening her and though she had alway known that this boy was anything but an ordinary servant it still irked her how he spoke to her. Her laughter cut off almost as soon as it started, she could feel the presence of the many druids waiting just outside and it shocked her further that the words he spoke were truth.

Why would the druids protect this boy even at the cost of their own lives? There was obviously something more going on, something she was unaware of. Something that she would find the answer to.

She would leave now, not because he had suggested it but because she needed answers and there was perhaps another way of getting them. Also she didn't fancy fighting her way through so many innocents just to slake her lust for revenge.

"Very well, I'm going now, but I will be seeing you again soon, that's a promise." She held her head high as she turned away from the couple on the floor.

It was time to pay a visit to her _dear_ _brother_.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

"Hello, dear brother." 

Arthur's head snaps up and around so quickly that his neck gives a protesting crack, he lifts a hand to gently rub at it whilst glaring at Morgana. What is she doing here, in fact how did she even get in? He remembers perfectly the day when Merlin put wards around his chambers and yet there she sits at his table looking completely at home.

He closes the door gently behind him, he sees little point in calling for the guards after all if she were here to kill him he'd be dead as soon as the words left his mouth. He cannot fight her and win, he knows this, this is what he needs Merlin for.

He approaches the table slowly, all the while keeping his gaze locked onto hers, she seems amused something which causes anger to bubble in his gut, anger at Merlin for leaving him and anger at himself for causing it.

"What do you want, Morgana?" He keeps his voice strong, no matter what happens he will not show weakness to this evil, twisted, witch who wears his sister's face.

"I thought we could help each other, you see I know where Merlin is." She smirks up at him and he can feel triumph rising in him, his thoughts on Merlin and bringing him back, but the gleam of hatred in her eyes promises a high price, one he is likely not willing to pay.

"What do you want?" He asks again, wearily.

"Just an answer to one simple question... why are the druids loyal to Merlin?"

He can't help but laugh, the twisted hatred on her face, the indignation, it's too much, and he laughs until tears run down his face and he's gasping to breathe. 

Morgana just sits there, tapping her fingernails against the wood of the table, waiting for him to pull himself together.

Eventually he calms down, though the occasional low chuckle still escapes, he flops down in the seat opposite her, drumming his own fingers on the table while he tries to organise his thoughts.

He could tell her the truth but he knows that it doesn't mean she will be honest with him in return, even if she did with her knowing about Merlin he looses the advantage he's always had. Though right now he has already lost that advantage until he can get Merlin back.

He sighs in defeat, "Because... he is Emrys, saviour of magic."

He would laugh again at the way her eyes practically pop from her head, as it is he's too tired right now, weary of everything, he hasn't been sleeping well and without Merlin here he doesn't even feel whole.

"No... he can't be. I would know- you're lying!" She looked suddenly vulnerable, eyes usually filled with hate now showing pain, fear and betrayal, she looks almost like his sister again, but just like that the madness is back, and she screams at him, "You're lying!"

"No, I'm not, why would I? Tell me where he is." Looking at her now he knows he has once again made a grave mistake, her eyes are sparkling with malicious intent and for the first time in a long time he actually worries _for_ Merlin, rather than _about_ him.

"Oh I think not, _brother_. Though if I'm feeling generous I may send you back his body." Her eyes glowing gold and words of magic passing her lips is all the warning he gets before the world goes dark, " _Swefe nu_."

His eyes slip closed and his head meets the table with a dull thud.

 

**xxXxx**

 

_'Emrys, the lady Morgana has passed through our wards, she will be here soon, you are not yet recovered enough to fight her, you must both leave before then.'_ Iseldir's voice rings through his head and he glances at Mordred unwilling to put him in any more danger than he already has done.

_'Thank-you for all you have done for us.'_ He turns to Mordred, watching with a small smile as the druid plays with a few of the smaller children and wishing that life could always be this peaceful, but as long as Morgana and Arthur both continue to murder innocents there will be no chance of that. He's tired of running, of hiding, of living every day in fear, it's time it came to an end.

"Mordred," He calls and the younger mans head snaps round to meet his gaze, smile faltering as his eyes meet Merlin's, "I need to go, Morgana is on her way. I will not let her harm anyone else."

"Then I will come with you."

He smiles sadly, he knew that Mordred would not wish to leave him but he can't risk him like that, he has come to mean too much to him and he would never forgive himself if Mordred were hurt in the crossfire. Standing he makes his way over to the younger man and takes his hands in his own, gently brushing his thumbs along the backs of Mordred's knuckles.

"I can't let you, I'm sorry, but you mean too much to me and your place has always been here with your people." He places one hand gently against Mordred's face, fingers stroking the skin down his jaw, and takes a deep steadying breath. He places a chaste kiss on Mordred's forehead before pulling himself away and letting his magic slow time to a standstill.

It's surreal walking through all these people, so still as to be almost statues, and he feels a wave of sorrow that he can't even say goodbye. At the entrance to the cave he spares one last glance back and fights down the tears that threaten to fall, he is doing this for them.

Once he is far enough from the cave and close enough to Morgana he lets go of his hold on time and lets it snap back with a rush of sound and the thrum of life. He leans himself nonchalantly against a tree while he waits for Morgana Pendragon, last of the high priestesses, seer, _witch_... **Murderer**.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to b92morgan - I am so sorry for the lateness of this promised update, but you know how life likes to get in the way sometimes anyway hope you enjoy :)  
> To other readers- enjoy:)

 

 

**xxXxx**

 

He lets the witch walk right past him, he hasn't even needed to glamour himself or anything, no she is too lost muttering to herself in her insanity to even notice him, which kind of makes him smile as it already puts her at a disadvantage. Normally, back before he had had his very self taken away from him he would have thought twice about what he's about to do, however the new him feels no remorse as he raises a hand, fire forming into a large ball before he releases it straight at her back. Watching with a detached air as it strikes and Morgana goes flying, black cloak smoking in the aftermath.

He walks over to her, that small cold smile still firmly in place as he rolls her onto her back using the toe of his boot. Her eyelids flutter before snapping open and staring at him through eyes dulled with pain and confusion before clarity comes back to her, but it is too late.

Storm clouds are gathering at his silent command and he has one hand out in front of him forming a fist as he blocks off her airway without even touching her.

"You really would think that you would have learned not to keep underestimating me, Morgana. You have killed many in your quest for the throne, and though I no longer stand with Arthur, you still came here threatening more innocents. Did you really think I would let you get away with it?" He squeezes his fist tighter, knuckles white, as his voice rises at just the thought of her threatening the peace of the druids he has come to cherish as family.

Lightening flashes down, hitting the ground a mere hairsbreadth from the priestess and her eyes already wide with the lack of oxygen widen even more-so. He steps closer, looking on her not with pity or an old fondness but something even he can't name. He is sorry it has had to come to this, he is also sorry that it was so easy really. He had expected, maybe even hoped for, a fight. A challenge.

Someone he could hurt and feel no guilt towards, to cleanse the hatred and anger from his soul, but he does feel guilty and there has been no fight here this... this is just cold blooded murder. Though he can't quite bring himself to stop because he knows what would happen if he did. Knows how she has abused all the times he ever thought to show her mercy- and it cannot go on any longer.

He brings his free hand up to the stormy skies and directs the next bolt of lightening to hit true. Watches as her body convulses and burns before exploding outwards into fragments of bone and ash, and he lets his hands drop as he sinks to his knees. Feeling tears running down his face at the loss of life, grieving for who she had been, who she could have been but not, never, for who she chose to be.

 

xxXxx

 

He doesn't know what happened really, knows that no transportation spell had been cast and yet how is that possible? For, one moment, Merlin stood before him soft lips pressing gently to his head and then, Merlin was gone.

He runs out of the cave and still doesn't see him anywhere, looking around he is able to pick up the traces of the others trail and he heads out after him, not willing to leave him alone, scared that Merlin will not fight back, that he will merely give in to her demands like he did with her brother. Immediately after that thought he is consumed by guilt, he doesn't know the whole story there, and maybe never will, but he knows enough to know he is doing Merlin an injustice with such thoughts.

He shakes his head, hoping to clear it of the fear gripping him, and carries on along the path Emrys had set.

It doesn't take long before the smell of charred flesh hits him, and he has to fight the urge to gag, he quickens his pace and as soon as he sees Merlin on his knees, tears tracking silently down his face, he knows what has happened without needing to ask. Instead he drops to his knees beside the other and pulls him into his chest planting soft kisses in his hair and murmuring soothing nonsense as they rock steadily together. Both their tears flowing freely.

They stay like that for a long time before Merlin turns and looks to him, defiance and determination blazing bright in his sapphire eyes, and he almost thinks he can guess what's coming... only to be proven completely wrong when Merlin finally opens his mouth.

 

**xxXxx**

 

"We need to inform Arthur." He states defiantly, challenging Mordred to disagree. He knows all the arguments against returning to Camelot, but they have to... or well _he_ has to, he would just prefer if Mordred came with him because for some reason he feels much safer in the younger mans presence.

"Merlin, you can't be serious! Arthur-"

"Arthur is her brother whatever else he may be, he deserves to know. And they were once my friends." He finishes on a quieter more shaky note. He has just murdered someone who he was once so close to, and he's not sure how he feels about that just yet but at the moment relief at her no longer being a threat is strong enough to even wipe out the fear of returning to Camelot and having to face Arthur again. But no matter what he needs Mordred by his side otherwise he's not sure he would have the strength to do it.

"But..." Mordred starts and then looks at him long and hard, his blue eyes scanning his face and Merlin makes sure his eyes only show his determination in this, and eventually Mordred slumps, and Merlin knows this fight is won, not that it brings him any feeling of victory or triumph. 

"Okay, Merlin, I will come with you. Do you wish to go now?" And Merlin nods. Mordred's hold on him tightening as he whispers the words to take them back to Camelot - to Arthur. His heart is already pounding in fear even before the magic takes hold of him, squeezing and suffocating.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna sit here singing 'ding dong the witch is dead' - seems fitting :)


	13. The End!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... Here it is FINAL CHAPTER!  
> To all who have read, enjoyed, kudos'd, messaged and/or bookmarked... Thank-you for sticking with me, hope you have all enjoyed!  
> Will have a new Merdred story starting soon...  
> This chapter is once again dedicated to b92morgan for your unwavering support and comments, hope you enjoy :)

 

**x**

Arthur lifted his head feeling groggy and slightly disoriented, it seemed he had fallen asleep at his table, and just pushing through his consciousness he thought he heard voices whispering, what was going on?

Groaning he lifted himself up and turned his head to where the voices had abruptly cut off at his awakening and was shocked into complete stillness. It couldn't be... could it? Maybe he was still sleeping, still dreaming. For there stood, in the closed doorway of his chambers, none other than Merlin, and with him Mordred. He didn't have it in him to be angry at seeing them together, it was clear that Mordred had done what he thought best for Merlin and Arthur couldn't really fault him that.

Remembering Morgana's threat he was just relieved to see Merlin alive, and whole, and though his... friend? lover? manservant? (all terms that now required an ex- before them) was looking shifty and ill at ease Arthur could honestly say he had never been more glad to see those shocking blue eyes before.

"Merlin!" He choked on a sob, rushing to his feet only to wince when he saw how violently Merlin flinched from the unexpected movement. Gods, he had caused this, just thinking of it made his stomach twist uneasily. He stilled, keeping the distance between them and barely feeling a twinge of jealousy as he watched Mordred's hand slide into Merlin's, their fingers interlocking in comfortable familiarity.

"Merlin I-"

"Morgana's dead, Arthur. I'm sorry." Merlin interrupted harshly, his tone softening though towards the end.

And Arthur felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, didn't know how to respond. He felt joy and sorrow and guilt and... He didn't know what to feel really. He was glad that Morgana was dead, that she could never again threaten the peace of his kingdom, of his people, guilt at the genuine sorrow he heard in Merlin's voice, that it was him who had betrayed Merlin's secret to her, that he had unintentionally sent her after him with such murderous intent, that he had caused Merlin to have to kill her, even after all the pain he had caused the other man, that he had caused him more with this act cut him to the quick.

His tears flowed freely, and not just for the sister he had lost, who he had lost so long ago, before he even knew the truth of her parentage, but for Merlin, who had been by his side for so long, who he had mistreated time and time again. That Merlin still cared enough, to return here, and give Arthur this news himself... well Arthur's not sure he would have had the strength or courage to do that if the tables were turned.

"I'm so sorry, Merlin, for everything... please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." He kept repeating those two words, hands up at his side in a gesture of peace? Surrender? As he cautiously approached the two men.

Merlin's eyes flicked to Mordred standing silent beside him, then back to Arthur, and he was pleased when neither attempted to move away from his approach, though they both had every reason to do so.

"Arthur..." Merlin started, but it seemed even he did not know what he wanted to say as he abruptly cut off, swallowing and looking away.

"Merlin, please... I need you- Camelot needs you... and I I-I'm so s-sorry, please." He was nearly there, another couple of steps and he would be close enough to reach out and touch. He stopped when Merlin's free hand raised, not in a threatening gesture, more a subconscious move made to halt his approach. 

He stopped... and waited for whatever would come next.

"Arthur... I - This is my home. No matter..." Merlin stopped, drawing in a deep lungful of air and straightening his posture, "This is my home, but... I can't return here with things the way they are."

"Anything, Merlin. I'll do anything. Whatever it takes... just... please... don't leave me." 

"There's no  **us** , Arthur, never again will there be." He was nodding his head before he had even processed the words, he meant it, anything, he was only sorry for all the time between finding out about Merlin's magic and now. Because Merlin had always been loyal, no matter what he had done, and Arthur would do anything to bring him home. "Also if I were to return to Camelot, Mordred would return with me, without him I will not come back here!"

"Of course Merlin, anything,"

"I hadn't finished Arthur. You will repeal the ban on magic, so that all your people may live their live's in freedom and without fear. I will not go back to hiding who I am and living in fear with the threat of execution hanging over my head."

"Yes... fine. Just... Merlin?"

"It will take time Arthur... but..." Merlin again looked to Mordred, the two seeming to hold a conversation without the need for words, both men looking intently into the others eyes.

"For now," Mordred began, and Arthur had forgotten how softly spoken the young druid was, after he had last seen him Arthur's mind had built him up into something it was clear he was not, this he knew was his father's teachings, it was only recently that he had had to evaluate those ideas that he realised how misguided they were. How blind he had been. "Merlin and I will return to the druids, I believe Iseldir would be happy to act as ambassador while you work on repealing the ban."

"Merlin...?"

"Just... soon Arthur... not yet. I'm sorry."

And how could _Mer_ lin be the one apologising for not being ready to return, when it was Arthur's own fault that he didn't feel safe or comfortable within Camelot's walls. He took a shaky breath and exhaled, feeling the beginnings of a headache at his temple's and wondering if Gaius had forgiven him enough to provide a pain tonic.

"I understand. Whenever your ready, both of you, you will be welcome."

Merlin and Mordred shared a soft smile with each other before a wind whipped up, scattering loose debris and parchments, and both were gone leaving Arthur once again alone.

 

**xxXxx**

He held Mordred to him tightly, burying his face in the younger mans neck and shaking fit to fly apart. They had done it! Though it was all up to Arthur now, to right the wrongs of the past, but Merlin felt confident that he would do it, that Arthur would succeed, he had never seen the blonde king so emotional, and he knew that the guilt was genuine. 

It seemed whatever it was that had happened with Morgana had finally caused Arthur to wake up and acknowledge just how much he was destroying his own kingdom in his fear, just like his father before him. But it was Arthur's destiny to bring magic back to the land and Merlin believed this could finally, finally, be accomplished.

For now though he was content to breathe in the scent of the man he clung to, feel the soft fingers stroking through his hair while equally soft lips pressed light kisses into his hair. He felt loved, cherished... safe. All things he hadn't felt in such a long time, and he brought his head up, turning slightly so that his lips met Mordred's in a soft press of a kiss.

He felt his magic running through his veins, felt Mordred's magic like a static charge as the younger man pressed his lips back against his own, feeling his nerves and desire and ... love mirrored back through their connection of lips and magic.

And though there was fear coiling in his chest, making his heart beat at a frantic pace, this was not the fear he was used to, nothing like the fear he felt with Arthur, this was the fear of something new, something that he couldn't define but knew was shared by Mordred. And yet they had shared so much of themselves with each other that this, sharing of passion should not even register when they had shared their souls.

But still it was.. frightening... to want something... someone so much you thought you might cease to exist without them, and so when he pulled back, breaking the kiss, his blue eyes darkened by love and desire the plea fell easily from his lips... "Mordred?"

"I want you, Merlin. Want you in me... want to feel you."

It had been so long since he had done this he was unsure for a moment, but he pushed his reservations down, he wanted this, wanted to make this good for Mordred, wanted the younger druid to know how much he felt for him. To feel themselves joined in such a way. His cock twitched, growing hard in his breeches and his hips stuttered forward to brush up against the shared desire he could feel in Mordred.

They stayed like that for a moment each thrusting their hips shallowly against the other, hard cocks brushing up against coarse fabric, breathing in one another's air. He wondered what was preventing Mordred from acting, from taking this further, until he realised that Mordred was allowing him to set the pace, that he had given him full control of the situation so that he may feel comfortable.

His heart pounded in his chest, the realisation making him a little dizzy, how long had it been? How many years since he had had all control stripped away? 

To be given this...?

His hands went to the laces on Mordred's breeches, fingers fumbling slightly as he sucked kisses into the others throat. Letting his lips say all that he could not. Not yet. But he hoped that Mordred knew that he understood, and the wave of magic that rushed into him, bubbling like an over-boiled cauldron let him know that Mordred understood perfectly.

Once he had finally managed to free Mordred's cock he gave it a few soft strokes, his mind repeating Mordred's words like a litany of a dying prayer,  _'Want you in me... want to feel you.'_

He couldn't, not now, but he quickly freed his own cock, hard and wanting, and took them both in hand. Feeling Mordred's silky smooth hardness rubbing up alongside his own sent shivers of pleasure down his spine. Arousal pooling deep in his guts.

Both men panting breathlessly into each others mouths as their dicks thrust together into the tight heat of his hand. So good. He groaned, hearing it echoed back, a mirror image of the other as they thrust and shook and murmured incoherent words.

His hips faltered slightly, breaking the rhythm as he grew closer to the edge, his cock so hard that something had to give... soon.

He was almost sobbing, chasing his release... something more... Oh god...

He shuddered as his cock pulsed, his seed erupting over his hand, slicking over both their cocks as he faltered and squeezed just a little harder, looking up into blue eyes as he felt Mordred spasm in his hand, watching as this gorgeous, wonderful, amazing man spurted his own release over them both.

He let his hand drop.

They stood together, foreheads resting against the other, breaths mingling as they fought to get breathing and heartbeats under control. Magic swirling golden light between them, and he couldn't, didn't want to, stop the happy grin that took over his face.

 _'Together.'_ They both spoke into the others mind, and Merlin knew that one day soon he would be okay, and together they could get through anything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any spelling mistakes and shit like that ;)  
> Lalala, off into the sunset :)

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this chapter was going to be longer but have had to give up for today so the next chapter will be longer


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